As a little girl, I watched family members continuously trying to lose weight without succeeding. My young mind correlated happiness with being skinny. I restricted calorie intake and hid behind, “I’m an athletic girl.” I refused to accept my chronic dieting as an eating disorder. I looked strong and healthy, hardly anyone knew I struggled with low self-esteem and spent days and nights throwing up every food I ate. There isn’t a diet I haven’t tried. My lies continued into adulthood. I became a master manipulator with a dark little secret.
After my first child was born, I suffered postpartum depression. I felt worthless, and guilty for feeling worthless. Guilt turned to shame. I thought, “I should be feeling grateful and happy for a healthy baby and supportive husband, right?” All this beating down on myself led to depression.
Desperate to get well, I read every self-help book, explored my spirituality, listened to motivational speakers, and talked to therapists. Still, the abyss of postpartum depression remained with subsequent pregnancies. Within four years I was a mom of three under the age of five. Life was out of control, and I didn’t know who I was. I felt like I was the worst mom in the world.
One day, it just clicked. The love for my children motivated me to claim my life back. My first step was changing my perception of diet and health. I started eating healthy and began an at-home workout program since going to the gym was not an option given my limited budget and time while raising small children. I finally learned the difference between lifestyle changes versus dieting. The weight slowly dropped, and for the first time in four years, I felt energetic and could be active to really embrace motherhood.
Diet mentality is a tough habit to break, especially after childbirth when all you see is the saggy skin or the rolls when you sit down, and you keep dreaming of returning to that pre-baby weight. I’d be lying if I said my relationship with food is completely healed or that I love the way I look in the mirror every single day. There are still days when I don’t feel confident in my body shape or safe around certain foods.
Life is not perfect, but I now enjoy far more good days than I do bad days and my self-esteem and energy have skyrocketed since I’ve started prioritizing my health. That’s why I’m so passionate to educate women and mothers like me who are ready to transform into the person they are meant to be and take a whole new adventure in life. My coaching is focused on inspiring you to make lasting behavior and lifestyle changes. I want you to look in the mirror and see a compassionate and kind person who is no longer trapped in her own mind, someone who knows how to move past the nagging self-doubts. I want to make healthy eating, strong living, and self-love a way of life for you!
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